


Apologies

by nottheatretrash



Category: Original Work
Genre: First Person Perspective, Gen, Present Tense, Suicide, double suicide, jumping off a building, sorry - Freeform, suicide note, tw suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 09:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20240410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nottheatretrash/pseuds/nottheatretrash
Summary: Ryan finds a note, and then finds his friend.





	Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry. This has kinda been a nightmare of mine for a while, and I wanted to put it down. Read it if you want, but please, if you ever feel this way, don't do it. I've been there and I know. I know exactly how you feel. But this is not a fantasy or a goal, it is a warning and a fear. Please, stay alive.

I run forward and wrench open the door reading "Roof Access. Security Personnel Only." It's unlocked. A knife of fear jabs into my heart. I know only one emotion; dread. I run up the flight of stairs, blood pulsing, fully aware of and hating how slow I am. The last door appears in front of them. I push it open.

The roof before meis large and mostly barren. At the end stands a lone figure. I can barely see through my tears, but I know who it is. An empty bed and a note in the room below that I wasn't supposed to find until next morning have told me. A cry bursts from my lips, unbidden but unstoppable. "Lily!" It's a cry of pain, of worry, of overwhelming fear. 

I'm still running. And I'm still too far away. Lily looks behind her, taller than ever standing on the building edge. She looks at me with an expression that I can't read in my panic. 

The words I clutch in my hand play through my head. Reasons and excuses, past and future and the merciless present. And the one word I read on the page and read in her eyes as her lips form it for the last time and I cannot hear her voice. I cannot hear her say sorry as she steps off the roof.

Then I'm at the edge, looking over, watching with messy eyes and a heart that could never convince me this is a dream. This is my worst nightmare and I know I'm awake. 

The note is still in my hand. I can only focus on the last line. _I'm sorry. -Lily_

I find a pen clutched in my hand too. The pen she used. The one she used to write her last words. I grabbed it in my rush to reach to roof. My rush to stop her. 

At the bottom of the page, there are a few lines of empty space. This is where I sign my name. 

_I'm sorry too. - Ryan_

I say what I could not hear her say to the wind, the sky, the god that let her do this. I apologize for us both.

Then I drop the pen, hold the note, and follow my friend into darkness. 

**Author's Note:**

> So I usually don't do present tense or first person, but I think this turned out well. It's not long but it's enough. Thank you for reading, and remember, there will always be someone to miss you. If you need, that someone is me.


End file.
